Discovering Me
by PRiNCeSS x3
Summary: Jude is having a hard time dealing with everything, including her self image.. What would happen if she just found a way to look perfect and be perfect? Find out!
1. Out to Lunch with reality

Discovering Me

1

"Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor, and I can't help but to hear, but to hear an exchanging of words. "What a beautiful wedding, what a beautiful wedding," says a brides maid to a waiter-" Jude sang as she strolled though the halls of G Major.

"Good beat, but I think that song has already been written, Jude." Kwest joked when Jude passed him.

"Funny Kwest. Hey here's an idea You should quit your job here and become a comedian, then you can tell lame jokes all the time!" Jude laughed.

"Really guys, am I paying you to sit here and make weird jokes that no one else gets to each other?" Tommy asked as he walked up behind Jude.

"You don't pay us at all Quincy." Kwest smirked.

"Oh Tommy! You were the one I was looking for!" Jude spit out randomly.

"Looking for?" Tommy eyed her cautiously, as he started to turn pink.

"Yeah, I had an idea for the next tour." She said.

"Oh… What is it?" Tommy's expression dropped from a pink face to a frown.

"Okay, so I think that we should go on tour with… Are you ready for this?" Tommy nodded. "Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy!" Jude jumped with excitement.

"Uh, I'll look into it." Tommy looked at Kwest with a "I don't think it's ever going to happen" way. "Hey, have you had lunch."

"Yes, but thanks for asking." Kwest cut in with a big goofy smile on his face.

"Okay, Jude have you had lunch?"

"No, but, uh, I'm not hungry… But I'll be happy to keep you company." Jude said.

"Ha, ha, cool. I was thinking we can go to… Um… Red Robin?" He smiled sheepishly, becoming bright pink again.

'Okay let me go grab my bag." Jude walked off to the recording room.

"So you got yourself a date with Jude. How does that make you feel?" Kwest said holding his fist to Tommy's face as if he was a reporter.

"It's not a date." Tommy swatted Kwest's hand out of his face. "It's just lunch, besides, she is still 17."

"Sure, but she is turning 18 soon… That means she's… LEGAL! So you going to make a move for her?" Kwest asked eagerly.

"No… Dude lets just face it, she's out of my league… Even if I do like her…"


	2. What Secrets Lie Beneath the Surface

2

"You sure you don't want anything?" Tommy asked.

"No, I'm fine, really." Jude flashed him a fake smile.

"You're looking really…. Thin, though…" Tommy said with a hint of concern in his voice.

"Ha, not really." Jude chuckled. "Lets just stop talking about me, okay?" She said sounding irritated.

"Uh, okay, sorry." Tommy mumbled softly.

Jude: Maybe I should tell him what is going on… No I can't tell anyone, no one will understand, especially Tommy, he'll try to change me….

Tommy: She's acting so weird… Ah, but its not my business… I just hope she isn't into something dangerous.

Back at the Studio, an hour later

"How was your date with Jude?" Kwest asked first chance he got to talk to Tommy without Jude around.

"It wasn't a date… Hey, have you seen Jude eat lately?" Tommy asked.

"Not around here, why?"

"I don't know, I just haven't seen her eat in awhile, and she is starting to look really skinny." Tommy said.

"You think she is…. Anorexic?" Kwest asked.

"I don't know, maybe she-"

"Hey guys, whatcha talking about?" Jude said as she walked up next to Tommy.

"Um.. Nothing…" Tommy acted casual.

"So we going to get to work Quincy?" Jude punched him in a playful way.

"Yeah." Tommy said as he followed her to the recording room. "You have anything knew for me today?" He asked.

"No, I haven't been feeling good lately." Tommy knew what was up, he just had to find a way to get it out of her.

"Jude, when was the last time you ate?" Tommy asked calmly, hoping she'd breakdown and confess.

Jude: What do I say?? This morning? Or should I say I haven't eaten in a long time?????!!!

"I don't know, why?" Jude said starting to get nervous.

Tommy: I have to be close to cracking her secret that she's hiding.

"Are you okay?" Tommy asked looking very concerned.

"Tommy! Could you STOP with all these stupid questions!? I am fine F-I-N-E! Okay? So STOP!" Jude snapped at him.

"Jude tell me what's going on." Tommy said in a stern voice.

Tommy: I know she's going to tell me now!

Jude: JUDE DON'T TELL! You will regret it, and he will want to stop you from being beautiful.

"Nothing is going on, Quincy." Jude muttered softly.

Tommy: No…. She… Maybe I was wrong…

"Okay, you want to try that song we were working on last week?" Jude nodded slowly and picked up her guitar.

"1, 2 3…" Tommy counted.

"I'm having the day from hell,  
It wasn't all going so well (before you came)  
And you told me you needed space,  
With a kiss on the side my face (not again)  
And not to mention (the tears I shed)  
But I should have kicked your (ass instead)  
I need intervention  
Attention to stop temptation to scream

Cause baby  
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart  
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart  
Gotta pick myself up where do I start  
Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart  
No

Don't know where I parked my car  
Don't know who my real friends are (anymore)  
I put my faith in you  
What a stupid thing to do (when it rains it pours)  
And not to mention (I drank too much)  
I'm feeling hung over (and out of touch)  
I need intervention  
Attention to stop temptation to scream

Cause baby  
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart  
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart  
Gotta pick myself up where do I start  
Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart  
No

Can it be easier?  
Can I just change my life?  
Cause it just seems to go bad everytime  
Will I be mending?  
another one ending once again

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart  
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart  
Gotta pick myself up where do I start  
Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart  
No _x2_

Falls apart  
Gotta pick myself out cause things are mended…"


	3. Meet the Producer

**::Sorry this one is so short. I didn't realize it at the time I was writing it::**

**3**

"Judie! Judie!" A girl, who had an odd resemblance to Barbie, called as she stood at the door of G Major.

"Judie? Judie who?" Tommy asked as he walked up to her. "And may I ask, who are you?"

"Judie Harrison, du-uh. And I'm Ashley, her friend." She smiled.

"Oh Jude, let me go get her for you." Tommy said as he headed off to Studio A.

**Ashley:** Oh my Gosh! He is cute!

**Tommy:** Wow she is beautiful…

"Jude beaut- your friend Ashley is here." Tommy said as he open the door.

"Alright thanks, I'll be out in a minute." Jude muttered not looking up from her work. "And Quincy, what was the beaut- thing all about?" Jude added sharply.

"Just a grammar mistake… You know how I always make those." He laughed nervously, then walked off quickly.

"Yeah, cause you never make them…" Jude mumbled then got up and walked to where Ashley was standing. "Ashley! Hey!! What are you doing here?" Jude asked hugging her friend excitedly.

"Well, I got home early and thought to myself, "Who better to visit then Judie!" Ha, ha… So are you doing anything right now?" She asked.

"No, not right now."

"Do you want to ditch this place and come see…? JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE??" Ashley clapped her hands with excitement.

"Yeah, let me tell Tommy that I'm leaving." Jude said as she started to walk away.

"Oh your producer? Can I meet him?" Ashley asked.

"Yeah, come on." Jude motioned her to come follow her. As Jude and Ashley started to approach Tommy, who was talking to Kwest, she could hear what he was saying. So out of curiosity she stopped Ashley to listen to what he was talking about.

"I'm telling you, dude, she's gorgeous! I'm talking, long golden-blonde hair, blue eyes, prefect figure, and a voice like an angel. You need to meet her." Tommy gushed.

"What's her name?"

"Ashley… Man she is- wow…" Tommy said. Right as Jude heard that her stomach dropped.

"What are you thinking?" Kwest squinted his eyes at him.

"I'm thinking I want to get to know this girl a little more." Tommy smiled and winked in a sly way.

"You think I'm gorgeous?" Ashley stepped in and as she walked up to face Tommy.

"Well, uh, were you listening that whole time?"

"I heard as much as I needed to know, who are you?" She smiled sweetly, making Tommy blush. Jude stepped in between Ashley and Tommy and said,

"Ashley, I would like you to meet my producer, Tom Quincy."


	4. Secrets, Secrets

**4 **An hour later at the movies

"Oh my God! He is seriously your producer!? Is he single??" Ashley asked.

"Yes and yeah… Why are you interested?" Jude asked in a rude way.

"Yeah, he's really nice, and cute." She smiled in a dazed way.

"I don't think you're his type." Jude shrugged.

"Excuse me?" Ashley said in a sort of offended way.

"He isn't into blondes." Jude knew that was a lie, cause he dated Sadie, and he liked Jude with blonde hair. (Which she still has now.)

"Well, he seemed to like me back at the studio." Ashley said then asked, "Jude, do you like him? I mean I will back off if you do…"

"No, I don't like him. Plus I'm only 17, your 18… So your allowed to date him… Although you're only a month older then me." Jude hissed.

"So I can give him my number?"

"Do what you want, I don't care." Jude said unenthusiastically.

"Thanks, Judie! You're the greatest friend ever!"

**Later that day (Back at the studio)**

"So give me a call sometime." Ashley smiled.

"Will do." Tommy said staring into her eyes.

"Bleck, they make me sick…" Jude spit out bitterly.

"What's your problem? He's happy, isn't that what you want?" Kwest asked.

"Well duh I want him happy, I just didn't think -Ashley- would make him happy. I just bothers me."

"Does someone still have a crush on Little Tommy Q?" Kwest said in the best baby-talk he could do.

"Shut up, Kwest. I don't like him. I just don't like how Ashley came here to hook up with Tommy." Jude mumbled.

"Yeah, she drove from Virginia, to come see you, just to hook up with your producer that she didn't even know. That makes so much sense, thank you Jude, for clearing that up for me." Kwest said sarcastically.

"That's not it, Kwest. You wouldn't get it. I just don't want to see Tommy get hurt." Jude said.

"By her? She's so sweet though."

"Kwest could you stop?! Lets just drop subject, okay?" Jude hissed at him. Then walked to Studio A.

"Jude what's going on?" Tommy turned when he heard Jude yell, then followed her into the studio in a concerned way.

"Nothing, Tommy. Why don't you just go hang out with… Ashley…" Jude muttered.

"Is there something wrong with me liking her, Jude? I thought you two were friends." Tommy asked as he sat next to her.

"We are, I just… I don't know, I'm not feeling good… I need to-" Jude started as she stood up. But before she could finish her sentence, she collapsed into Tommy's lap.

"Jude!" Tommy yelled. "Kwest call 911!" Tommy called as he carried Jude to a couch.

"Okay, I did, they're on their way. What happen?" Kwest rushed over.

"I don't know, one minute I'm talking to her, and the next she's passed out on my lap." Tommy looked up at Kwest in a concerned way.


	5. I Can't Keep Your Secrets Honey

**5**

Tommy waited over an hour when finally a nurse told him he could go see Jude.

"Are you looking for someone sir?" A nurse asked.

"Jude Harrison."

"Room 106, sir." He nodded thankfully. As he finally found her room, he stood in the door way and he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she really was.

"Hey Quincy, I'm glad to see you." She smiled. "I guess you want to know what happen." He nodded as he sat down across from her. "Well the doctor said I haven't been getting the "nutrients" that I need…"

"And that's why you passed out?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah… There is a reason I haven't been getting nutrients though. Now Tommy you can't tell anyone what I am about to tell you." He nodded again. "Tommy, I haven't eaten anything in 3 months." Jude turned her head to look out the window.

"What? Jude why?" Tommy asked.

"I have to be perfect for everyone." Jude mumbled, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Jude you have to get help." Tommy stood up.

"No, I can do this on my own, I can eat whenever I want to. You can't tell anyone." She turned toward him.

"I have to go, I'll be back later." He kissed her on the cheek then walked out the door.

**30 Minutes Later (Harrison House)**

(Knock, knock)

"Tommy, how are you, its great to see you." Mrs. Harrison said as she answered the door.

"I'm great, I need to talk to you." He said as she let him in.

"Okay what is it?"

"You might need to sit down for this…" Tommy said. "Jude is in the hospital."

"Oh my God, what happen?" Mrs. Harrison stood back up and started pacing.

"She passed out. The doctor said she's lacking the nutrients that she needs."

"Well she'll be better soon, right?" Mrs. Harrison said as she started biting her nails.

"Mrs. H… Jude has been anorexic for 3 months." Mrs. Harrison was quiet for a moment then she walked to the door. "She can get over it herself though, she said so, and I believe her… Please don't tell her I told you." He pleaded.

"What hospital is she at?" Mrs. Harrison said sounding irritated.

"Robinson Hospital. She'll be okay Mrs. H." Tommy assured her. Mrs. Harrison just looking at him then exited the house.

**2 Days Later**

"Anyone seen Jude?" Tommy asked. Multiple people said they hadn't seen her in days. "Kwest, I'm going to head over to Jude's place. If Ashley comes by tell her I'll be back later."

"Okay, and I'll tell D for you." Kwest nodded.

"Thanks dude, see you later." Tommy said walking toward the door.

**10 Minutes Later**

(Ding, Dong)

"Oh look, its you." Jude said as she open the door, acting less then thrilled to see him.

"Why aren't you at the studio?" Tommy asked as she let him in.

"I'm packing…" She mumbled.

"Packing?? For what?"

"West Haven Recovering Facility. Why don't you ask my mom why I'm going, you seem to like to talk to her." Jude glared at him the stomped up the stairs. Tommy stopped dead in his tracks.

**Tommy:** She told!!

Tommy then started heading for the kitchen, where Mrs. Harrison was. "Mrs. H, with all due respect, why the hell did you tell Jude I told you, and your sending her to West Haven?!" Tommy said really fast in a high pitched voice.

"I had to, Tom." Mrs. Harrison said.

"I told you, she can get over this herself." Tommy squealed.

"She didn't tell you everything."

"Then what is everything???" Tommy said now yelling.

"Calm down, Tom." Mrs. Harrison said quietly.

"Just tell me what everything is?" Tommy hissed.

"I have to send her to West Haven because she is seriously bulimic and anorexic. Tom she has to go or she might die. She can't stop, so this is going to help her. Jude is seriously ill, Tommy."


	6. She's Leaving, She Hates Me

**6**

Tommy stood there for a moment, searching for the right thing to say. "I… She… Oh my god…" Is all Tommy could get out at the moment.

"Tom, I know this is big news, just let it sink in a little… She will get better…. Hopefully…" Mrs. Harrison said softly.

"I need to, uh, talk to… Her… I mean Jude… I mean…" Tommy stuttered, then darted out of Mrs. Harrison's glare, heading towards the stairs. As he made his way up the narrow staircase, he came to a complete stop. He knew he couldn't go talk to her, till he knew what to say.

**Tommy:** She can't be leaving… My god she is going to hate me for this… This is all my fault… How do I- What do I say to her?

"What are you doing here?" A familiar voice came from behind him.

"Just- Wait… Sadie?" Tommy turned her way, a little caught off guard that she came out of no where. "I thought you were still in California with that guy."

"Well, mom called me and said Jude…" She paused. "Needs me." She whispered.

"Oh, uh, well I'm here to talk-" He stopped.

**Tommy:** Needs her? What's that suppose to mean? Jude never needed her before, so what's the difference now? My lord, I am sounding so ignorant.

"I need to talk to her." Tommy said walking by Sadie, awkwardly. Tommy walked up to Jude's door and stopped. He hesitated on which he should knock or not… Finally he knocked softly. He waited a minute, but when no one answered, he knocked again, but this time a little louder. Again no answer. Tommy finally got so tired of waiting for Jude to come to the door, he just opened it himself. Right as the door flung open, he regretted not waiting…

"What are you still doing here?" Jude snapped bitterly, glaring at him in the meanest way. At the moment, if looks could kill, Tommy would dead.

"I…Your mom…. And you're bulimic too? Jude… Do you know how serious disorders are?" Tommy asked, still standing in the doorway, slightly twitching his fingers.

"Look, Quincy, I don't need to be lectured, especially by you." Jude mumbled angrily.

"I know your mad, but believe me, I couldn't watch you suffer."

"I wasn't suffering, until you told my mom, and now she's sending me to rehab, and I'm not mad, Tommy… I'm furious! I thought that I could trust you with that secret, but obviously I was sadly mistaken." She paused for a minute to let herself cool down. "I knew that if I told you, you would, of all people, would try and stop me." She paused again, but this time she stood up and started walking towards him. "I'd never thought I'd have to say this to anyone, especially you, Tommy… But you deserve it." She said, now standing right in front of him. "You," She started. "Will never be forgiven." She finished as she pushed him out of her doorway, but before she slammed the door in his face she muttered under her breath, loud enough for him to hear, "I hate this, I hate you."


	7. Mending Broken Hearts

**7** (Later back at the studio Late that night)

"She didn't mean it; she's just letting off some steam. Give her time, she'll thank you someday." Kwest assured Tommy.

"She did mean what she said, her exact words were "You, will never be forgiven." How can you tell me she didn't mean that?" Tommy stood up and paced for the seventh time that night.

"Tom, its late, what are you two doing here?" Darius said, walking up to them. Kwest stood up and started mumbling something to D. "Oh, alright… Tom, you can stay here, but if anything's not how I want it… They'll be hell to pay." Darius grinned and walked out the door.

"What did you say to him?" Tommy asked.

"I just told him you were heart broken. Although, you don't love Jude, your with Ashley. He probably thought Ashley broke up with you." Kwest chuckled. "But we know that your just bummed, cause you friend, oh wait, I mean "sister-like-girl" as you say, is going to some rehab and isn't coming back till who knows when."

Tommy stared into the distance for a moment, thinking over the one part he heard Kwest say. "Although, you don't love Jude, your with Ashley." Tommy repeated that in his head several times. "Tom? Tommy?" Kwest waved his hand in front of Tommy's face, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"W-what?" Tommy shook his head.

"What's going on? Jude will get better."

"That's not it man, I think I might lo-"

"H…Hey Ashley…" Kwest stuttered cutting Tommy off mid-sentence.

Tommy: Ashley? Why is she here so late?

"Hey Kwest, hey Tommy." Ashley smiled sweetly as she walked, well more like (to Tommy and Kwest) floated, over to where they were sitting.

"Hey baby, what are you doing here so late?" Tommy asked, scooting over so she could sit next to him. Kwest stared at him for a moment, with amazement of how his attitude changed when he heard Ashley's name.

"Well I went by your apartment, and your roommate said you were here… So here I am." She giggled slightly.

"Do you need to tell me something?"

"Uh, yeah…" She started. "You know what's going on with Jude, right." Tommy nodded. "And you know why she's leaving?" Again Tommy nodded. "Well I think it's best for us to not date, until she is better. And I'm going back to Virginia soon, so the long distance thing might be weird…" Tommy's mouth dropped. He looked over at Kwest hoping for support.

"Well, will you look at the time? It's time for me to- get out of here." Kwest said jumping up and running out the door. Tommy sat there for a minute, not really believing this was all happening.

"It'd be nice if you said something." Ashley smiled foolishly.

"So let me get this straight… You are you using your friends disorder to break up with me, when we haven't even been on an official second date?" Tommy spat out bitterly.

"No that, that isn't what… Tommy that's not it." She mumbled.

"Then what is it?" He stood up and balled his fist with anger.

"I just… I'm not allowed… I can't…" She stuttered, searching for the right thing to say, tears welling in her eyes.

"Spit it out already!" Tommy yelled.

"Jude told me that you're the reason she's in rehab!" Ashley cried, letting the tears fall. "I can not be with someone who put my best friend in rehab!" She yelled, then ran out of the studio, leaving Tommy, dumbstruck in the dust.


	8. New Friend, New Ememie

**8**

Tommy: She left me for what happen with Jude…. That's…. Ugh! I had to tell Mrs. Harrison! Hello, anorexia and bulimia are called "Slow Suicide"!

"Quincy? Did you sleep here all night?" A husky voice came from behind him.

"Oh, JB, yeah… I guess I fell asleep." Tommy jumped a little, he didn't think anyone would be at the studio before it opened.

"Well Mike isn't supposed to be opening G for awhile, want to get some breakfast?" JB asked.

"Yeah, but as friends." Tommy felt stupid saying that.

JB laughed. "Your funny dude… But I'm sorry I don't like you like that, ha, ha. I'm into girls."

"Ha… Yeah well lets just get out of here." Tommy stood up heading for the door.

"What's up with you man, you seem a little out of it." JB said following him to the door.

"I guess I'm just stressed." Tommy shrugged. JB stared at him till he knew he had to tell him. "You know Jude right?" He asked.

"Do I? Oh yeah, I know Jude." JB smiled wickedly. He could tell in a matter of seconds that Tommy would ask what he meant, so he quickly added, "I'll explain later, what about her?"

"It's a long story." Tommy stated.

"I don't have anything better to do. You know, I might only be the technical dude at G Major, but I could be of some advice, maybe." JB said.

"Well, if you really want to know…." Tommy trailed off.

"I do."

So Tommy told him the whole story, detail by detail. Finally by the end of breakfast he finished. JB was speechless for a minute, searching for something, anything to say.

"Uh… wow…" Is basically all he could say. "Dude, I know I said I might be able to give you advice, but I don't know what to say. She's really that sick?" Tommy nodded. "Oh man… I feel for you… I really do… But the thing that gets me is, why the hell did she do that?? She's so good at singing, and she is so beautiful." He knew that's where he had to stop. He looked up at Tommy, who was staring at him in a suspicious way.

"Right… Well I guess this is something I have to figure out on my own." Tommy shrugged. "So what did you mean when you said "Oh yeah, I know Jude."?"

"When did I say that?" JB asked acting confused.

"Back at the studio, like an hour ago." Tommy reminded him.

"Oh, I just meant, I like-" He paused for a minute. "Know her, I know her…" He said quickly as he turned bright red.

Tommy: Is he hiding something? Wait, wait… Isn't this what happen with Jude? I really need to stop jumping to conclusions, before I screw this kid's life too.

"Alright… I just feel terrible. Oh and my so-called-girlfriend, broke up with me, cause they are best friends." Tommy mumbled sounding pissed off.

"So, their best friends, big deal." JB said.

"What if someone sent your best friend to rehab?"

"Oh… Got it… Damn that sucks… I just don't see what possessed her to do this…" He said.

"I guess she felt pressured." Tommy was out of ideas of why she did do it.

"I think we should probably get back to G so D doesn't pop a vessel again." JB suggested. Tommy laughed and got up to walk towards the door.


End file.
